What Truly Defines a Child and how exams affect kids ? It’s all about the Marks vs the mindset ! In India, exam season is more than just tests — it’s a high-pressure period that affects entire families. Students aren’t the only ones feeling the strain; parents often let anxiety take over, obsessing about marks, percentages, and which college will accept their child. But what if this intense focus on scores is doing more harm than good?
Why Marks Have Become a Big Deal
Across countless households, board exam results feel like a judgement day. Every mark seems loaded with meaning — determining future success, career prospects, and social status. Comparisons with cousins, neighbours, and classmates only deepen the stress. The emotional toll isn’t just on students but on the entire family environment.
A Different Perspective: Mindsets Matter More
Vineet Nayar, a business leader who’s guided companies through big changes over decades, challenges the idea that marks make leaders. In his view:
- Exam scores don’t define long-term success — mindset does.
- Curiosity, courage, and adaptability matter far more than rote learning or percentage points.
He points out that if board exam scores truly influenced life outcomes, many successful CEOs would never have made it — because real life doesn’t test memory, but resilience and the ability to learn and adapt.
Pedigree Opens Doors, But That’s It
Nayar acknowledges that having a strong academic record or studying at a good institution can help to start a career. But that’s all it does — open a door. Staying relevant, growing, and leading depends on:
- Asking questions
- Learning continuously
- Adapting to new challenges
- Embracing change
This is more important than any board percentage.
How exams affect kids ? : Home Environment Influences Performance
Another critical point Nayar highlights is how exams affect kids emotionally:
- Tense homes breed tense minds: “Tense homes breed tense minds, and this clearly shows how exams affect kids when pressure and expectations take away their peace and confidence.”
- When parents project fear and pressure, children internalise that emotion.
- Conversely, calm and supportive environments build confidence and ownership — helping kids perform at their best without fear.
Results become moments — not defining truths about who a student is or what they can become.
More Than Memory: What Life Really Tests
Nayar makes a powerful distinction:
- Exams test memory.
- Life tests courage.
Real-world success depends on how a person responds to setbacks, continues learning, solves problems, and adapts to new situations — qualities far beyond memorising information.
A Simpler Message for Students and Parents
The core message is both hopeful and practical:
- Do your best in exams — prepare, focus, and learn.
- But don’t let a number define your worth.
- Celebrate or console, then move forward.
- Life is long, and results are just one small part of a much bigger journey.
Conclusion: Redefining Success
In a society where marks are often seen as the ultimate measure of success, this perspective urges us to rethink our priorities. Instead of obsessing over percentages, we can nurture confidence, curiosity, resilience, and emotional strength in children — the real qualities that help them become leaders (Click to know Who is a good leader?), not just good students.
